“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly—it’s the best advice ever given me. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling.”—Aldous Huxley (via pigmenting)
So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.
Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the…
“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”—
“Socializing is as exhausting as giving blood. People assume we loners are misanthropes, just sitting thinking, ‘Oh, people are such a bunch of assholes,’ but it’s really not like that. We just have a smaller tolerance for what it takes to be with others. It means having to perform. I get so tired of communicating.”—Anneli Rufus (via thatkindofwoman)
7 years ago I graduated from high school, full of enthusiasm and excitement to begin the new big chapter in my life- college. Now, I’m 25 and I find myself reflecting on my past, slightly nervous, and excited for the future. As I sit here thinking about how I want to continue growing, learning, and becoming a better person overall I think of what I (my 25 y/o self) have learned over these years. I noticed a friend create a similar list on her 25th- and it inspired me to create me own…enjoy!
1. You cannot, and should not expect to make everyone happy. For your own sanity, and well- being.
2. Everyone will always have opinions- take them into consideration, and then make your own decision.
3. Simplicity over materiailism. Always.
4. A situation which allows you to DO GOOD is an opportunity and blessing which you should not slip from your fingers- you’ll see how much it helps you in the long haul.
5. Friendship is precious- kids who sit there talking about the number of friends they have- don’t know what lies ahead of them. It’s always, ALWAYS about quality of friends vs. quanity.
6. Stand your ground. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinions,and be honest- and sometimes brutally honest (if necessary) because as a wise man once said those you matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.
7. Learn to truly let go. The less expectation one has- the happier he or she will find themselves to be.
8. Find time to be alone. Note there is a difference between being lonely, and being alone. Just because you are alone does NOT mean you are lonely. If somoene is at a movie theater alone, or a cafe alone (reading, or writing, or just sitting) does not mean they are lonely! Time for yourself is precious- it takes a strong minded individual to be content with themselves. Block out AT LEAST 20 minutes of your day- just for yourself, away from others, your phone, and internet. Find peace with yourself, and who you are. As you grow older- you’ll learn it becomes harder and harder to find that time for yourself.
9. Have faith in something, begin with yourself. People will doubt you, your beliefs, and what you do. Don’t let that bother you- be bold and stand up for what you believe to be true.
10. Cherish your family- they won’t always be around.
11. Success is always a matter of perspective-don’t let anyone thwart that potential and spark you already have within you. Honestly, sometimes its best to just let it go through one ear and out the other :)
12. Be persistent. Fight for what you want, and need to help you become the person you want to be (and use appropriate judgement in this matter!).
13. Surround yourself with people who help you grow, learn, and question your motives, not just sugar coat them.
14. SLAP your wrist each time you find yourself wanting to gossip about someone else- we all do it- but its not nice.
15. Be more like Eleanor Roosevelt- “Do one thing everyday that scares you”.
16. BE INDEPENDENT- don’t depend on anyone for anything. I know this is tough- but seriously- this is probably one of the best things you can ever do for yourself.
17. Refresh your mind- get away from the computer, go for a jog, learn something new, and focus on cultivating your mind with thoughts and ideas continually.
18. Try to express yourself calmly- it’s SO easy to become heated but the more rationale you are in a situation the easier it is for the other person to understand what the hell you are trying to say.
19. Eat Cake. And Move On. Someone gave my sister a mug for her birthday- and this is what it says on the front. We often get so worked up over things, worry ourselves to all levels, when in reality- there is a) nothing we can do about it or b) we can do something about it- so we should just do it and move on.
20. READ. A lot.
21. Stay aware of current events- I mean c’mon we’re 25 now.
22. You are what you eat- and at the end of the day you are how you present yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, and present yourself in the way you want others to perceive you both on the inside and out.
23. Stop talking the talk, and walk the walk. I am so guilty of this- I talk about everything I want to do from Trapeze lessons, to running a half marathon, to joining a fencing class. I have FINALLY signed up for fencing classses, am looking for a Trapeze class openings, and will work on signing up for a half marathon. Seriously- YOLO (yes, I just said that).
24. Keep in touch with those you love.
25. Simply be. After finally watching the movie, “Juno” I fell in love with Ellen Page’s character. She dealt with her situation with so much grace, practicality, and poise. Yeah, stuff happens- but it’s what you do in the situation, and how you handle your circumstances. SO, try to be like the main girl from Juno- just be calm, composed, and realize that crap happens- but let’s do something about it, to handle it.
When you’re feeling down, it’s so tempting to focus on your sadness: you wonder why you’re sad, you hate that you’re sad, you wish you weren’t sad. It’s completely natural to do this. But it’s the wrong way to be. No matter how smart you are— you will never change a bad mood by thinking about it. You will only magnify it.
Instead focus on your behavior. Focus on what you can change. Go outside. Exercise. Quit isolating yourself. Interact with friends and family. Accomplish things. Your mind will reward you with happiness.
It is so tough to change your behavior if you are feeling depressed. But it’s the only way. Don’t say: “I’ll act differently when I feel better.”
The piece below was written by Marina Keegan ‘12 for a special edition of the Yale Daily News. Keegan died in a car accident on Saturday. She was 22.
What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-bac or try writing for the first time. The notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical. It’s hilarious. We’re graduating college. We’re so young. We can’t, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have.
This is beautiful. Grateful for my imperfect college life. Reminded to never take things for granted.
Five years after California started cracking down on junk food in school cafeterias, a new report shows that high school students there consume fewer calories and less fat and sugar at school than students in other states.
The findings suggest that state policies can be successful to some extent in influencing the eating habits of teenagers. The study found that California high school students consumed on average nearly 160 calories fewer per day than students in other states, the equivalent of cutting out a small bag of potato chips. That difference came largely from reduced calorie consumption at school, and there was no evidence that students were compensating for their limited access to junk food at school by eating more at home.
While a hundred calories here or there may not sound like much, childhood obesity rates have more than tripled in the United States in the last four decades, and many researchers say that most children and adolescents could avoid significant long-term weight gain by cutting out just 100 to 200 extra calories a day.
“I would definitely say that 158 calories is significant,” said Daniel R. Taber, an author of the study and a postdoctoral research associate at the University of Illinois at Chicago. “When you combine this study with other studies on California law, the body of evidence suggests the schools in California really have made healthier changes by getting rid of things like sweets and candy bars.”
California is one of several states that have sought to reduce childhood obesity by targeting junk food in schools. A decade ago it became the first state to ban the sale of soft drinks in grade schools, and it later enacted a similar ban in high schools. Since 2007, the state has also enforced nutrition standards for “competitive foods” in schools, the snacks and foods that are not included in meal plans but that students can get on school grounds — from vending machines, for example. California law limits the amount of fat, sugar and calories that can be found in these foods.
To study the effect of this policy, the researchers examined data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on the eating habits of high school students in California, comparing it with data on students from 14 states that did not have nutrition standards for vending machine snacks and other foods sold outside of school lunches and other meal plans. Over all, 680 students were included in the study, which was financed by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and published in Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.
California students had the lowest daily intake of calories, fat and, especially, added sugars. And it seemed clear that their eating behaviors at school played a large role. California students got a lower proportion of their daily calories from school foods than students in other states: about 21.5 percent, compared with 28.4 percent among students elsewhere.
The reductions in fat, sugar and calorie consumption among Hispanic students “are particularly encouraging given the high prevalence of youth obesity among Hispanic individuals in California and the United States over all,” the authors wrote. “It is also encouraging in light of research that documented the high presence of convenience stores, mobile food vendors and other food outlets surrounding schools in Hispanic communities.”
Still, California’s students had not suddenly become health nuts. They were still eating junk food — just slightly less of it than their peers in other states. And their vitamin and mineral intake was similar to that of students in other parts of the country.
“Students may not be buying as many candy bars at school, but that doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily eating salads instead,” Dr. Taber said, noting that schools still offer items like baked chips and desserts that comply with the regulations but offer little in the way of nutrition.
He said that schools could take an additional step by replacing some of the junk food being filtered out with healthy options like fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Iowa, for example, began requiring in 2010 that at least half of the foods available outside meal plans contain whole grains. Other than that, no state has laws that require whole, unprocessed or fresh foods to be available outside of school lunches for high school students.
School initiatives could also focus on students’ eating behaviors at home, Dr. Taber said. “We have to recognize that school-based laws have a limited scope because students only consume about 25 percent of their calories at school,” he said. “No one sector or environment is going to be the magical cure. Obesity is a very complex problem with many answers, so we really need to target different aspects of students’ environments.”
I came across this article..and thought it was absolutely beatiful. Something I want to strive for- everyday.
1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.”Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind”Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.